Game of Thrones: Season 7 episodes 1&2 recap

Game of Thrones has returned. Winter is upon us and all is right with the world again. Here's what's going on in Westeros.

The Mother of Dragons has returned to Dragon Stone. She has Westeros allies now, but that clearly didn't last long. In all seven seasons, I've learned one thing: Don't underestimate or count out Cersei or you will die.

Now that her band of female allies were defeated rather quickly (WTF IS THAT ABOUT) she's sure to accept an alliance from Jon Snow. Which unbeknownst to either of them, SHE IS HIS AUNT! He is the NEPHEW OF DRAGONS!! Shit is just weird.

Back in the North, Jon and Sansa are kind of at odds—all the fault of Little Finger and his sliminess. Sansa is ANNOYING! Let's just clarify that. Her execution is poor; however, she knows what the fuck she's talking about. She's been through some shit. And I'm ready for her to lead. I mean, she might lead them to death. But she at least deserves her shot to shine.

Jon has got to be my favorite character (don't @ me)! He's always done whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. I mean sure that might have gotten him killed once already, but that hasn't slowed him down at all. He's all about getting shit done, which is appreciated, and he's ready for battle. A battle that should have already begun i.e. Lady Tyrell's suggestion!

Circling back to the Ladies Alliance that failed (AGAIN, WTF). We got Daenerys, Lady Yara, Lady Tyrell and the whole Dorne crew. Now they trusted the Mother of Dragons/ Tyrion and she got them killed/kidnapped by a Cersei minion. I'm pissed. Like, YOU HAVE DRAGONS! Now instead of you burning shit down, they got burned down. Also known as, hello! This is war!

Sidenote: That Theon moment.... damn I really thought he might have come through😭 . That was hard to watch.

Speaking of death, let's talk about the adventures of Assassin Arya. Usually, if I’m screaming at my screen it's an Arya scene and they go like this:

Episode one:

Arya: I'm going back to Kings Landing to kill Cersei.

Me: GO HOOOMMMMMEEEE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? KILL CERSEI WITH YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER YOU FOOL.

Episode two:

Arya: I'm going back to Kings Landing (to kill Cersei).

Hot Pie: Why the hell aren't you going back to Winterfell?

Me: IM FUCKING SAYING!!!

Arya: There's nothing there for me

Hot Pie: ummmmm except the only family you have left. You run the North again

ME: GO GO GO GO GO

Arya: *turns horse in the opposite direction of Landing*

Me: YAAAASSSSSSSSSS ALL IS RIGHT! LET THIS HAPPEN PLEASE.

So, I'm content as fuck for like .2 seconds. Then she may or not have seen her Direwolf, who doesn't want to return North and if I know Arya, that means she thinks there's nothing for her there now UGHHHHH WHY!!

Not to mention, Jon is leaving for the south just as she heads that direction. The last time she tried to intercept her family, it didn't end well. So, I'm preparing myself for disappointment. Fool me once GoT, FOOL ME ONCE!