Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 5: Wildfire

The day had finally come for Daenerys to take back the Iron Throne and I'm pretty sure none of us were mentally prepared (Jon Snow especially) to see the "how" up close.

Daenerys has always been a boss ass bitch who’s made questionable “burning people alive” decisions, so her going ‘mad’ is not new to the storyline! Does this season feel rushed? Yes. Would I rather have two additional episodes of her moping around and not doing her hair to understand why she made the decision she did? NOT REALLY!

I would rather get answers to why she couldn’t burn people up SOONER. Like couldn’t she have dodged arrows, burned up ships, and brought down Cersei’s army with flames BEFORE they took and killed Missandei? This was the best use of dragons yet, she didn’t even need an army!

Missandei said “dracarys,” and she obliged. Everybody must burn, starting with Varys. I’ve never liked Varys but turns out he always knows when shit is going to go left. Hopefully, he got off some letters to Sansa and whoever else can help this situation before he took this “L” for Westeros.

SN: Jon makes TERRIBLE decisions! I’m just really confused about how he’s the fittest to be King.

Honestly though as far as betrayals went, I think Varys should have been a little farther down the list. Jon for SURE should have beaten out Varys. Dany spoke nothing but facts when she said he was the catalyst. He claims “you will always be my queen” but I read between the lines and what he was really saying was, “you will always be my queen……. and my AUNT so stop trying to kiss me.”

That being said, Jon actually has nothing on the one true betrayer of Westeros, Mr. Tyrion Lannister.

SN: If you haven’t read my recap from last week do that, because this is about to be part 2 of my “Tyrion is trash” campaign.

I just don’t get it. I remember a time very fondly when I wasn’t like "Tyrion needs to die.” That time no longer exists. He is a FRAUD and I see straight through him. He knew that Varys was a snake. He knew what he would do with that information and he knew he was going to have to snitch to Daenerys to save his own ass. So, for him to play “sad friend” just really grinds my gears.

There’s a lot that has contributed to setting off the madness that has been within Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen for 8 seasons.

Think about it; in just a couple of weeks she lost her closest advisor, followed by her closest confidant and friend, then her other advisor betrayed her, she gets rejected by her nephew and all she’s left with is a lying hand who can’t be trusted. She is now alone, with no one to guide her.

SN: She has Grey Worm but he is equally as FED UP.

To be quite honest, I would have been perfectly content with the outcome of this episode had they never rung the bell because Cersei underestimated Dany’s savagery. However, damn, THEY RUNG THE BELL.

But, do you know who I blame? YOU KNOW! I don’t care. I blame Tyrion. The Mother of Dragons said “The next time you fail me will be the last time you fail me” and I FELT THAT on the deepest of levels.

It was Tyrion who brought up the plan to surrender if the enemy rung the bells after he actively was against the plan to burn shit down once again, without ANY alternative plans! THEN once she agreed, what does he turn around and do? BETRAY HER.

Tyrion proceeds to meet with his bum ass brother, who was caught trying to save Cersei. Jaime might have thought he had the job of stupidest Lannister covered (and he does) but turns out he has some stiff ass competition.

For the briefest of moments, I might have held back a tear during the brothers’ goodbyes. The old me (2017) would have probably sobbed, however, me today is just sick of the bullshit. There’s not a chance in hell Daenerys didn’t know what he did. I’m convinced hearing the bells and seeing the Red Keep that her family built and the LANNISTERS took away, was just the last straw that broke the mad dragon’s back. Tyrion is trash and that’s all there is to it.

Because trash behavior runs in the family, Jamie ACTUALLY left Brienne’s bed to travel to the middle of a battle to die in the arms of his twin sister/lover who has threatened and attempted to kill him on multiple occasions. Wow, a classic move.

Before he can “rescue” Cersei, Jaime finds himself up against Euron which I have now dubbed the Battle of the Baby Daddies. I think everyone legitimately could care less who won at that point, it just seemed like the most useless fight in Game of Thrones history. Euron could have just gotten blown up on a boat. Jaime could have had a castle fall on him….oh wait. Regardless, there was absolutely no purpose to that scene.

While that was going on, Cersei was coming down off her denial that she had a chance in hell of winning as she watched Daenerys and Drogon burn everything her family had stolen. When she comes face to face with Jaime you can see the legit fear on Cersei’s face and honestly…..I COULD CARE LESS! Bitch, you weren’t thinking about your baby and dying when you were chopping off heads yesterday. Now you want to cry. I had zero sympathies for this situation and I was truly unsatisfied.

When I thought about how Cersei would die, I imagined I would be happy, or satisfied or both. But, I was neither and it was my own damn fault for dreaming. I mean what would have been the alternative? Cersei can’t fight. She can’t throw hands. Arya would have slit her throat 1, 2, 3. Then she would have probably died in the wreckage herself! *Cue outrage for Arya.*

Arya and the Hound had a very conclusive ending to their story. He got to save her one last time by getting her to take a different path than his own of vengeance. Not only that, but he took out his psychotic brother, the Mountain (JUSTICE for Missandei and Oberyn) which was the best outcome of the entire episode. R.I.P Sandor Clegane.

Final Thoughts:

I truly have no guesses to how this series is going to end and that frightens me.

• Will Arya add Daenerys to her list?

• Will Sansa be crowned Queen petty?

• Will Jon take his rightful place as King, making his resurrection actually useful?

• Will we find out how the Dothraki are still alive?

p.s.

I have a message for everyone who was disappointed and/or upset with character development this episode:

Shut the hell up! Y'all won’t be satisfied until every last person is in this show is murdered. This show has ruined you! Did you hope? Did you dream? Did you want? Did you wish? Well then you can’t blame the writers, it’s your own damn fault! I’ve come to the conclusion that you don't actually understand what character development means.

Everything made sense and were choices that these people/characters would actually make in that circumstance! So, just because you hyped up how everything was going to go in your head, doesn’t mean that’s how it was ever going to end.

You same people thought Arya was going to be reunited with her mother and brother at Rob's wedding and you still haven't learned your lesson on how this show works, THERE IS NO HAPPINESS!

Please keep this in mind next week, see you at the end of the road.