Game of Thrones: Season 7 episode 4 mofo recap

We are speeding through Westeros this season. Let’s jump right in.

ISSA MOTHERFUCKING STARK REUNION!!

Did anything happen before there was a reunion? I can’t remember, because I was too obsessed with the reunion. It was very emotional for me because let me just say, even when it was happening I didn’t fully trust that it was happening. That’s how you know I’ve been scarred (flashback the red wedding).

Is this real? Could this be happiness? I think the fuck not.

Let me give you a quick run-down of me screaming at the television

Arya approaches the gates

Me: YAAAAASSSS THIS IS MY MOMENT

Arya sits on the wagon thing while the guards argue

Me: Do not do anything hasty. So fucking close. So close!! Please NO

Arya disappears

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sansa: I know where she is.

Me: ISSA FUCKING REUNION BISH

And then as if one Stark reunion is not enough to keep me content for the rest of the season. There were 2! When they approached Bran, the tears…they streamed. It was just…wonderful. Terrible, but wonderful.

Let’s break down these new Stark personalities, because they are NOT good.

First there’s Bran. Good lord. Bran is essentially dead. Technically, there is no second stark reunion in this episode because Bran died in a cave and he is not capable of love or emotion. It’s truly depressing.

And then there were 2 Stark siblings and one bastard.

Arya, is a mofo boss! Technically, there is no Arya. Ayra became No One and No One became a cold-hearted assassin. Which is not a bad thing, she maybe can’t love or show emotion RIGHT NOW—but she would still die and fight for her family, which is all you can ask for really.

Then there was 1 Stark, 1 bastard.

Sansa…. What the fuck is her problem?? Similar to LitteFingers’ character, I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND. Did anyone else see that look Sansa gave Arya for being a boss ass bitch? Is she truly jealous that her sister can slay? Like literally…slay lives.

I don’t know. I don’t know what her problem is, and she’s been through a lot. But I’m over her. She’s the only one still alive and she doesn’t even realize it.

Finally, there was one King of the North.

Jon Snow…I love no one the way that I love Jon Snow (Don’t @Me!!)

Okay, Okay. I’ve rambled through the Stark reunion long enough, and If Jon makes it back to Winterfell to be reunited with them all…. I don’t have words to describe how much that would mean to me.

Moment of silence for what could be, but may never be.

ALRIGHT! At Dragonstone, it’s an episode of reunions—and that Theon/Jon moment was very anticlimactic. I really thought Jon would kill him…I mean, I didn’t really think so, but I wanted it to happen. Jon is just too good, and that’s why I love him.

If you take away the fact that Theon has been through a lot. You know, like everybody else. You can clearly see he was a TERRIBLE person!! He inevitably played a HUGE roll in the fall of Winterfell and therefore the fall of the Starks. All the shit things that happened to him, happened because he was a monster!! #Neverforget

You suck Theon! I am not a fan.

Jumping to the battle, Daenerys did not come to play. She came to slay. I was hype and all about it (man, this episode was really good, huh?)

Side note: I know she has a dragon. But, she got there quick as fuck. I really appreciate the pace of this season.

However, I was a little confused. Didn’t Jon tell her ass not to burn shit down? Not that I really care, because I am here for it. But, just wondering. Did he say not to burn innocent civilians down? I have to watch that scene again.

Moving on, was it just me, or was anyone else mostly just concerned for the life of the dragon the entire time? I mean, for a second I thought Jamie's ass was a goner and I was like “NOOOOOOO.” So, he’s cool or whatever. But other than that, I really just wanted that dragon to fucking live.

Final thoughts:

Jamie was kept alive to kill Cersei and for a Lannister reunion.