Game of Thrones: Season 7 Episode 7 FINALE

Rumor has it we might not be back until 2019. So, it is with a heavy heart that I say let’s get into what’s going on in Westeros for the last time in Season 7.

The episode starts off pretty dry, with everyone making their way to King’s Landing.

Jon, Cersei and Daenerys meet face-to-face for the first time and my favorite moment is when Dany finally arrives and Cersei goes “we’ve been here for some time,” in the shadiest way that only Cersei can shade, knowing damn well she just sat her ass down.

Speaking of face-to-face —ISSA REUNION… between the Clegane brothers! Literally the least exciting of reunions, but all I had to go off of this episode.

I honestly can’t remember if the Mountain and the Hound were in the same scenes in previous seasons or not, either way, it’s been a while and this showdown between the two will be one for the books.

So, they finally get into what they came to do—show Cersei that the dead exists so she can chill out on the war. And they almost had her to, if not for Jon’s freakish inability to lie!!

COME ONNNNNNNNNN

I can think of more situations where Jon should have lied, than told the truth. You know what that means kids!? LYING SAVES LIVES!

So, now Cersei’s pissed that Jon bent the knee to Daenerys. But at the same time, what did Cersei expect!? She had his father killed and destroyed his family. The choice was clear.

Finally, they manage to get Cersei to agree to not only pull back from fighting, but fight alongside them as well. How!? BECAUSE CERSEI CAN LIE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BOSS!

She even fooled Jaime. Poor, poor Jaime, the dumb fool. So, now Jaime’s pissed because not only did Cersei lie about fighting, but because she’s still involved with Euron’s crazy ass.

So, finally after seven seasons Jaime is like “fuck this,” and understandably so — I really thought she was going to have him killed!

Cersei is just not herself this season. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always hated her— it’s just that this season she’s been irrationally crazy and usually she’s for sure rationally crazy.

Thinking they have what they need from Cersei, Jon and Daenerys (the fools) FINALLY are headed to Winterfell.

They might want to speed things up however, because the Night King has already busted through the wall on a motherfucking dead dragon breathing motherfucking blue flames.

I WAS SHOOK.

Back on their “voyage,” Jon & Dany decide to finally rock the boat, if you catch my drift.

But NO, I don’t want to talk about the fact that they’re related (see recaps 1-6.) No, I want to talk about TYRION!

Why did he just stand outside their door the entire time and listen!? WHAT ARE HIS THOUGHTS! He looked upset, but I don’t really understand why. Does he think his position is in jeopardy as hand to the Queen, because she’ll most likely be listening to what Jon has to say instead of him?

Well, he’s right! His position is in

jeopardy, but not because the two most beautiful people in the show are now sleeping together. It's because as GILLY discovered and Bran confirmed, Daenerys has no claim to the throne, Jon is the rightful heir.

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE! So I guess that means the one true Lady of Winterfell must continue to lead the North...and lead she has.

DING DONG, THE SNAKE IS DEAD! Wow, my hopeful predictions paid off because Sansa and Arya came the fuck through. I never doubted them!

Jk, I thought Arya had lost her damn mind and Sansa never makes any sense (who knew, she was just a slow learner) therefore they were going to fight to the death for sure!

But no, the three Stark siblings came together to cut out the virus that has plagued their family since day one. #JUSTICE!

[I think where LittleFinger truly went wrong is thinking that anyone would actually believe that Arya was after the title, Lady of Winterfell. HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE! That’s the last thing that would satisfy her.]

Speaking of family ties....Theon. Theon. Theon. Listen, I DON’T CARE! Theon is not redeemed [refer to recap 4] until Yara is proven alive & breathing and Euron’s throat is slit LittleFinger-style! That's the only way.

Whether you loved the season finale or hated it, I for one am just glad it's over...time to spend my Sundays not hoping, plotting and at times praying for someone's death. Those feelings are strictly reserved for Mondays!

FINAL-FINAL THOUGHTS for a while:

1. IF I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL 2019 TO WATCH THE NEXT SEASON, THEN I SWEAR I WILL WAIT. Because what the hell else am I going to do?

2. I’m sorry but if the dead can’t swim, then how the hell did they swim down and chain the dragon to…you know what, never mind.

3. Is Tormund actually dead? Will Jaime or Arya be the one to end Cersei? Will Jon have to deviate straight to the wall and not stop at Winterfell to have the Stark reunion of my dreams pissing me off after I waited for 2 years!? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z.